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At the heart of the matter is a 2.0-litre mill with forced induction

Performance – The standard MINI Cooper S produces 192 HP of power and 280 Nm of torque (300 Nm on OverBoost) while the John Cooper Works adds a bit more thanks to a performance air filter, remapped ECU and butterfly valves in the exhaust system which open up when you double-click on a remote. This 2.0-litre, four-cylinder, turbocharged motor is such a delight, we have loved it in BMWs and in the Cooper S, it is such a hoot. Turbo lag is non-existent, almost. The motor punches hard in the mid-range and screams all the way to its 6500 RPM redline.

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The Cooper S has negligible lag, just throttle and it picks up pace

While the MINI Cooper S JCW’s official figures aren’t revealed for the Indian model, it produces around 212 HP of power and 320 Nm of torque, helping shave off around half a second from the 0-100 km/hr time. What is the best part of the Cooper S JCW? Of course, the exhausts. I was driving with the performance exhaust turned on and the sound can give a V6 engined performance car a serious run for its money. It’s so bassy and loud that my co-passenger pointed out that the car makes more sound than it moves, well, it’s still bloody quick though.

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The transmission is super quick and responsive, we love it

Eat, sleep, 0-100, corner, repeat – that’s what the Cooper S could be for many

There are three drive modes, the default is mid which MINI likes to call the go-kart feel, then there is Eco for green driving and of course Sport for maximum go-kart feel. Slot the gear lever to Sport and when you take control of things using the steering mounted paddles, this performance hot hatch doesn’t intervene with proceedings, holding onto a gear till you call it quits and up shift. This is all the more pleasurable because the kickback from the exhaust on upshift is an orgasm for your ears. And those twin exhausts themselves, I could look at them all day long, they look as good as they sound, ok, I sound crazy but you get the gist!

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The Cooper S plays the number game quite well for a hatchback

Since we like numbers, let’s talk a bit more about them, 0-60 km/hr comes up in 3.6 seconds, first gear is good enough for 50 km/hr, second for 85 km/hr, third for 140 km/hr, fourth for 190 km/hr, fifth for ‘I ran out of road’ km/hr. The standard Cooper S takes 7.5 seconds while the JCW nudged past the ton in 7.1 seconds as per our VBOX tests. Doing the ton in top gear, which happens to be sixth in the case of the Cooper S, shows 2000 RPM on the tachometer. The gearbox is smooth shifting but I totally forget to mention it because it does its job with such levels of secrecy, smooth and quick with cog swapping, this guy deserves a raise for its right ratios!

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Those exhausts are to thank for all the magic, look amazing too

It won’t be wrong to call the Cooper S to have the ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ character because when you drive sanely, it is calm and isn’t loud but get into all the right modes and you have an explosion. The British (or is it Germans?) claim a top speed of 235 km/hr but to get past the double ton, you need a really long stretch of road as it starts to lose breath past 180 km/hr (there is no replacement for displacement, no really!). After all that praise for the motor, with great disappointment I have to note down the efficiency numbers (for our accountants), this one returns around 6 km/l when you drive it the way it should be, take it easy and you will stretch that number to 10 km/l on the highway but you would be a hickdead to drive a Cooper S JCW if ‘kitna deti hai’ runs in your blood. Just buy a freaking Cooper D instead.